Bassa Sababa, or Absolute Popycock

For those of you who wonder, bassa sababa is an Israeli slang expression meaning, roughly, “a cool bummer.” They are also the title of a new song by Neta Barzilai, the winner of last year’s Eurovision about whom I have written before (see my post of 17 May 2018). Put on Youtube, in just twenty-four hours it it got over a million views. Now that the 2019 Eurovision, at which Ms. Barzilai made a guest appearance, the number has topped 17 million. The English version of the song’s lyrics, if that is the correct term, runs as follows:

Verse 1:

Stop, call your mama

Run, tell her I’ma Rhino

My killer girls are coming

If you won’t hide your gun

I’m gonna eat you

 

Pre-Ref:

(I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m) Gonna beat you like a drum

(I’m-I’m-I’m) Gonna chew you like some gum

(I’m-I’m-I’m) Go and tell her who I am

Baby, call your mom

(Bam, bam, bam, ba, ba)

 

Verse 2:

Stop, hold the trigger

Watch, my horn is bigger

I win, I love my thicker figure

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I’m gonna eat you

 

Pre-Ref:

(I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m) Gonna beat you like a drum

(I’m-I’m-I’m) Gonna chew you like some gum

(I’m-I’m-I’m) Go and tell her who I am

Baby, call your mom

(Bam, bam, bam, ba, ba)

 

In last year’s clip, Ms. Barzilai, pretending to be a chicken, told young men that she was not their toy and that they should leave her alone. This year she has outdone herself by identifying with a giant pink rhinoceros—the owner of the horn in question—chasing a disheveled, somewhat weak-looking man. As he runs for his life, at one point she even makes the gesture of cutting his throat! The clip ends with the man in question drowning in a pool of pink goo.

 

Whether the “bigger” horn Ms. Barzilai would like to have is a phallic symbol—or, to put it in plain words, yet another example of the penis envy that makes so much of the world go round—is a question I shall leave for my readers to answer. Ditto as to whether this song, like its predecessor, is, in reality, a cry for help coming from a young woman who, in an age less politically correct than our own, would have been called plain at best. Let me add, in parentheses, that personally I am glad such terms are used a little less often than they used to be. No one should be blamed for what he or she cannot help; having been born with Cain’s mark on my face, i.e a cleft palate, I know what I am talking about here.

 

Back to the clip. It made me wonder, since its contents can only be summed up as Feminazi. Ms. Barzilai’s throat-cutting gesture is definitely threatening. All over the Western world, any number of men have been demonized, fired, put on trial, convicted, fined, and even sent to jail for less. So how come women like Barzilai and her countless sisters are not only getting away with it but making fame and money out of it?

 

One answer would be that, in this way as in so many others, women are the privileged sex. In fact there exists an entire literature, much of it written by women, showing that women who commit the same offenses as men are routinely given much lighter sentences. If, indeed, they are brought to justice at all. Still I believe that the real reason is a different one. The Western—and by no means only the Western—cultural tradition is replete with female warriors. Starting with the “men hating” Amazons who, incidentally, ended up defeated by Theseus. Passing through Pamela Anderson in Barbed Wire, and reaching all the way to another countrywoman of mine, Gal Gadot, in Wonderwoman. Had they been real, then so large would the number of their male victims have been as to almost suggest genocide.

 

The point, however, is precisely that these and the vast majority of other female warriors are not real. Their peculiar combination of cleavage, weapons and sadism only exist in mythology and, today, all kinds of fantasies dreamt up for the benefit of teenagers who watch movies about them or play computer games with them. Practically without exception, they are absolute poppycock. And everyone knows it.

An Annotated Edition

No, this is not a female sumo wrestler trying to out-scowl her opponent. She is an Israeli singer, Netta Barzilai. She has just won the Eurovision, the international singing contest held every year in front of fans numbering (it is said) in the hundreds of millions. A paper as respectable as the British Guardian celebrated it as a triumph of feminism and the age of “me too.” Good! Or else I might have thought it had originated in the brain of a mentally disturbed five-year old.

For those of you who, like me, found themselves unable to understand a word of her cackle, here is an annotated edition.

Toy

Look at me, I’m a beautiful creature[1]
I don’t care about your “modern-time preachers”[2]
Welcome boys, too much noise,[3] I will teach you
Pam pam pa hoo, Turram pam pa hoo[4]

Hey, I think you forgot how to play
My teddy bear’s running away[5]
The Barbie got something to say:[6] Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! My “Simon says”[7] leave me alone
I’m taking my Pikachu home[8]
You’re stupid just like your smart phone[9]

Wonder woman,[10] don’t you ever forget
You’re divine[11] and he’s about to regret
His baka-bakum, bak-bak bakumbai…[12]

I’m not your toy[13]
You stupid boy[14]
I’ll take you down
I’ll make you watch me
Dancing with my dolls
On the MadaBaka Beat
Not your toy!

A-A-A-Ani Lo buba!
Don’t you go and play with me boy![15]
A-A-A-Ani Lo buba!
Don’t you go and play… Shake!
Kulului,[16] Kulului, Ah, wedding bells ringing
Kulului, Kulului, Ah, money man bling-bling
I don’t care about your ‘stefa’, baby[17]
Pam pam pa hoo, Turram pam pa hoo[18]

Wonder woman, don’t you ever forget
You’re divine and he’s about to regret
His baka-bakum…bak-bak bakumbai…

I’m not your toy
You stupid boy
I’ll take you down
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Dancing with my dolls[19]
On the MadaBaka Beat
Not your toy!

[1] Poor old Michelangelo. He should have taken Netta, not David, as his model. Imagine how many more people would visit Florence! Anyhow, self-praise stinks.

[2] Does anyone know who the modern preachers are? I sure don’t.

[3] Who is making too much noise? The boys? If so, why are they welcome? Or perhaps they are not? Never mind: nonsense is nonsense, and la donna e mobile.

[4] Stop insulting chicken by trying to imitate them, Netta. Any chicken sounds way more intelligent than this.

[5] What Teddy bear? What on earth is Netta squeaking about? If you know, please send me an email.

[6] The only thing Barbie ever said to Ken was “you pay the bill, or else I won’t even consider sleeping with you.”

[7] Who on earth is this Simon? What does he have to do with anything else in the song?

[8] Does she sleep with it? And, if so, is it the male version or the female one?

[9] Sorry, Netta. You may not have heard, but today’s smartphones can play chess, or Go, or trivia, much better than you can.

[10] A TV series fit for nine-year olds, in case you didn’t know.

[11] Modest, isn’t she?

[12] Most of the time it is women not men, who talk like that. In German it is called, Kaffeeklatsch (coffee-house chattering).

[13] Poor Netta. Four times she says she doesn’t want to be some boy’s toy. Apparently that is how he sees herself.

[14] Imagine the s—tstorm if I had written “you stupid girl.” But women are allowed to say anything these days, aren’t they? Until, one day, they won’t be.

[15] What else can one do with Netta? Discuss Plato, perhaps? Or relativity?

[16] Is that supposed to be the sound of a rooster?

[17] See No. 4.

[18] See No. 4.

[19] I do not understand. Netta is twenty-five years old. And still dancing with dolls, hoping that boys will watch her???