As I am writing these lines the outcome of the Brett Kavanaugh hearings remains in doubt. What is not in doubt is that they have been a national disgrace. Not since Potiphar’s wife has an important decision on such a matter been made on the strength of what a woman claims to remember she thought might happen to her (but did not) thirty-five years ago when she and the accused were in high school. With absolutely no proof except her word, needless to say.

As “me too” has shown all too clearly, women are either too weak to resist men or else too stupid to understand what has been done to them until decades and decades after the event. Or both. To help these miserable creatures to cope, I propose the following measures:

1. Lest they be harassed, which might result in deep psychological trauma and disable them for life, women should be prohibited from leaving the home.* This system was often used in Islamic and Hindu societies; today the Taliban provide a good example of how to do it. If walls are not enough, how about chains? And, to prevent them from doing what Ms. Ford did, perhaps muzzles—of the kind already worn by some Arab women—as well.

2. If they leave the home nevertheless, and to prevent them from being stared at (which might also result in deep psychological trauma and disable them for life), women should wear a full niqab with just a slit for the eyes. Again, watch the Taliban.

3. Unless they are close relatives: husband, wives, mothers, fathers, mothers, brothers, sons, daughters, women and men should be prohibited from being together in the same room, car, and other secluded places. As is already the case among some orthodox Jews. Even so, to be on the safe side, they should always be chaperoned. Including at least one camera and one sound recorder in every bedroom and under every mattress.

4. Women should be prohibited from using the same public facilities and sidewalks as men. To see how it is done, you’re welcome to visit Jerusalem and some other Israeli cities.

5. Co-education should be prohibited, as in fact it used to be in most countries during most of human history.

6. Male physicians should be prohibited from treating female patients, and the other way

around. Ditto psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc.

7. Male teachers should be prohibited from teaching female students, and the other way around. Ditto coaches, baby sitters, and the like.

8. Lest they will be distracted, men and women should be prohibited from worshipping together. This has long been the case in Islamic countries and also among Jews.

9. Lest they visit places where they may be harassed, women should be forbidden to drive, as was the case until recently in Saudi Arabia.

10. Lest bosses or colleagues or handsome and virile subordinates try to make a pass at them, women should be prohibited from working outside the home.

11. Lest their sensitive souls be hurt, women should be prohibited from attending certain kinds of shows, reading certain kinds of literature, watching certain kinds of movies, etc. To make sure the ban is observed, it should be extended to men as well. In the end, all people of both sexes will be allowed to see will be Bambi.

12. To make all these prohibitions stick, there is no alternative but to deprive women of the right to vote. If that means, as it probably does, that men too will lose the vote and the bells will ring the death of democracy, then perhaps that is a price worth paying.

Welcome to the Giladean Republic.

As noted, in many places some of the abovementioned methods have either been in place for a long time or else are being introduced right now. Either informally—as when men, following the sagacious advice of Mike Pence, simply refuse to be alone with women other than their wives—or, increasingly, by law.

Being seventy-three years old, I may not live to see it happening. Nor, being very happily married to one woman and as the father of two daughters and the grandfather of three girls, am I sure I would like it to happen. For good or ill, however, I have no doubt that my children and grandchildren, who are now in their forties or moving towards puberty respectively, will experience it.

* If women are to bear the brunt of this and the following prohibitions, then that is because, if men were made to do so instead, women would starve.